As we first expressed awhile back, we often get emails and notes from various readers about issues pertaining to divorce, separation and other co-parenting type topics. So, we will continue to cover these all important discussions and at times, highlight specific examples we hear about via our readers. But first, let’s talk Co-Parenting…
#1 thing to know here is….drum roll please…it cannot be called “co-parenting” if the other parent refuses to actually ‘co’ parent. Yes,we know, rocket science here. But as they say, it takes two to tango, and so things aren’t as easy or nice as they might sound. So the definition of it is crucial and important all parties understand this hopeful reality.
As it relates to this subject, we have heard numerous stories of one parent using the kids as the form of any/all communication to the other parent- basically, serving as the ‘middle man’. And we aren’t talking teenagers, we are talking 5 year olds, 8 year olds, etc. Now, this tactic goes against pretty much everything any child psychologist/family therapist would recommend and is actually very detrimental to the children and their overall emotions…but sometimes most likely, the childrens best interests are not at the forefront of the one parent’s thinking. The children need to feel safe, and knowing that their Daddy and Mommy actually ‘talk’ and are fully, collectively “in the know” on all things in their life, the more comfortable they will feel. So this basically comes down to communication skills 101 and overall respect for your children, back to the basics if you will. It’s not that difficult. Hopefully, as the idea of co-parenting evolves and more couples understand it in practice, the less of these complaints/stories we will hear about. Until then, continue to protect your children at all costs, take the high road, and despite the other ‘co-parent’s’ action, actually try to behave like a real co-parent.
These “Chronicles of Co-Parenting” continue next month as we review the various apps out there like Our Family Wizard, so stay tuned…